Thursday, July 11, 2013

This is my happy place....

Back by popular demand :) I previously deleted my blog because I felt like a wannabe Dr. Phil and  life got chaotic, but since several people have mentioned that they enjoyed my blog and have missed it,  the site is back in action! Like the title says, this page will be my happy place....I hope it can be yours too. For those of you who are new to my blog, I typically write about different topics about life from a very logical, realistic, and positive point of view. My blogs typically have a happy, inspirational, motivational, or humorous tone and often point out the beauties of life that people tend to forget or overlook.  I tend to focus on happiness and getting the most out of life b/c  I. love. my. life. If you do too, then this blog may be for you; if you don't, then this blog is DEFINITELY for you. My aim is not to throw catchy cliches at you, brag about my wonderful life,  criticize you for not loving life, or guilt you in any way. My goal is to open your mind and your eyes to things people are usually too busy to spend time pondering. I hope my words will motivate the reader to be happier, be healthier, be a better person, live a better life, and make the world a better place. It sounds cheesy as hell, but I feel like if you're not making the world a better place, you're making it worse.  Plus, who doesn't want to be happier? Who doesn't want to be healthier? Who doesn't want to be a better person? If you  knew you could live a better life, wouldn't you? If you knew you were capable of changing the world, why would you not?

This first post will be  different than my usual ones but it can be a sort of experiment, and you guys can let me know what you think.

 I have an idea and it may be corny at first but go with me here..... Since I'm starting fresh with my blog,I thought it would be cool if we start fresh with our lives also! Since every day is a new day, Lets make a deal to start fresh. Let's make a deal to try to be better and be happier. If you don't really want to be happier and be better and don't take it seriously, you're going to think this next part is EXTREMELY LAME, so only read forward if you really want to give it a serious chance.  

 1: Forgive yourself  Forgive yourself for the bad things you've done. We have all done bad things (of varying  degrees) but if you're reading this, you're obviously not in prison so it couldn't have been TOO bad. So many people, my self included, carry around guilt for mistakes they have made or immoral things they have done. Guilt that stands in the way of their happiness. They beat themselves up about it, and sometimes may even think they deserve it when bad things happen to them. Some people carry so much guilt they believe they don't deserve good things. Now I'm not telling you you're forgiven and going to Heaven- Only God can judge you... What I'm saying as that you need to forgive YOURSELF. What's done is done. You can't travel back in time, there's no re-dos. We are starting fresh. The past is the past. What is important now is the future, and you can't see the future if you're living in the past. Free yourself from the bad things you've done, your failures, your mistakes  and commit yourself to be better. For some of you this will be easy, for others it will take some work, but no matter who you are, where you came from, or what you have done, NO HOLE IS TOO DEEP TO DIG OUT OF. Now, take a deep breath and try to imagine the weight of the burden of guilt being lifted off of your shoulders.

2: Imagine the future Now this part might start to get a liiittttttllleeee cheesy sounding if you're not in to it, but if you can get past the cheesiness and  give it a serious try, I think it might be helpful.  Now, that you have freed yourself from the past and have nothing weighing you down, close your eyes. ( not until you're done reading the rest of the instructions obviously hehe). Close your eyes, take deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try to completely clear your mind from stress, work, school, family, friends, bills, kids, EVERYTHING. Some minds may take a few minutes to clear, be patient, take your time. Once it is finally cleared of the past and the present, I want to you picture your future. Not what you THINK your future will be like but what you WANT it to be like. Forget all the obstacles,forget everything holding you back, forget anything standing in your way-  just picture the your absolute dream future (minus the superpowers)...  picture The best life you could possibly imagine. Ask yourself- "Who are you? What are you like? Are you Married? Single? Do you have kids? Where do you live?  Where do you work? What do you do for fun? " ( NOW close your eyes and take a minute to actually do this before you read forward)

Now, welcome back to reality. Compare reality to what you just imagined. Are you close? Most of us are thinking "shit, not at all," and thats okay. I hate to throw out an equation b/c math and I have a mutual hatred but Happiness is equal to your ideal life, divided by reality. The closer your reality gets to your perceived ideal life, the happier you will be. The previous cheesy exercise was to give you an idea of your ideal life and what will make you happy.  ,If your life is  no where near what you just imagined thats perfectly fine, that just means we have some changes to make. The sad reality is, I bet most  of you reading this probably didn't waste time imagining your dream future b/c you know you won't get it, and the few  that actually DID picture your dream future have already thought " this will never happen". I bet most of you have accepted that you won't live your dream life and have accepted that and are striving for something "more realistic". My advice to you- FUCK THAT. Why can't you have your dream life? who says you can't? In your head right now you're probably  selling yourself short ( I'm not smart enough, I'm not fit enough, Im not pretty enough....)  or listing off various obstacles ::cough:cough::EXCUSES as to why you can't. But that is whats wrong with people today. Too many people settle because they are afraid of greatness. People are so afraid of trying and failing, they don't even try. Too many people have given up on the American Dream, too many people have forgotten the idea that if you work hard enough, you can do anything. People like things that are easy and in their comfort zone. People, ESPECIALLY us Americans, LOVE for everything to be handed to us.  If you don't step out of your comfort zone you can never get better in life. To know more, see more,  and be more, you've GOT to do new things. Everything in life had a "first"; the first on the moon, the first in America, the first light bulb, the first printing press, the first plane. Everything that we know to exist in life, stemmed from someone doing something they had never done before.  A quote by Marianne Williamson  says “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world." I think this is so true- People accept being just another person, living a mediocre life, and being sort of happy because they fear the unknown.

 I don't know about you but I've recently realized, I don't want to be one of those people. I want to BE someone. I want to live a fulfilling life, I want to be better each day than I was before, I want to maximize my potential, I want to be completely happy and I am certainly NOT settling. You're probably saying now... "but the world is such a fucked up place these days" aaaand you're just making excuses again. If you don't go out and get a good life, don't expect someone to bring you one on a silver platter, its not happening. Obama can send you a check every month but if you want a better quality of life, you've got to change your perspective, change your attitude, and work at it. YOU are the only one who is standing in your way and YOU are the only one who can change your life. The question is, are you willing to work hard to do it or are you fine settling for whatever comes along? Ask yourself this one question. Marinate on it.  If it sounds like too much work to be happy, I wish you the best and hope you don't end up on your death bed with regrets and "woulda, shoulda, couldas" If you would like to give life a real shot, and give yourself a chance at true fulfillment, wait for my next post. :)


  1. That was a very good read. I agree with this because I hold myself back everyday. I know I have goals but I always psych myself out. I think it's not realistic, or dreams will not get me anywhere. I know I am in a rut is time to climb out.

  2. Ashley, you are amazing! That was so wonderful... almost brought me to tears sitting here at my desk! My only feedback would be for YOU to not doubt YOURSELF too much by calling this cheesy or lame because it REALLY is inspirational, encouraging, and relate-able to anyone who reads it (whether they admit it or not.) Forget the haters and don't make apologies for being an amazing writer and a great inspiration to everyone around you. Thank you for this, I will certainly be passing it on ;)


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